September was hard.
One of the reasons Xander was placed for adoption was because his birth grandma was sick with cancer. His birth mom knew she would need her help to parent him.
It is a hard pill to swallow…us getting a baby because she was sick. Unfair, not right, screwed up….we thought all of those thing on their behalf…I’m certain they thought them themselves.
But…and when we allow God to work there is always a “but,” her illness wasn’t the end of this story. We grew to love Grandma LeAnys, as I wrote about here.
She touched eternity on Thursday, September 26th. She fought hard. She loved well. We look forward to telling Xander about her love for him. I miss her every day. I stopped by her home a couple weeks ago to drop of something off for her daughter…the door was locked, but even upon opening the screen door the smell of her home overwhelmed me. I could smell her.
Grief is hard. It is weird.
Before she passed I dreamt of the day Xander was placed in our arms to take home. As Grandma LeAnys walked away from us that day she looked me straight in the eye and said “you take good care of him.”
I have never forgotten that statement, “You take good care of him.”
Until now I was naïve to the reality that is cancer. I knew it was bad and that people die from it…but I had never seen the fight up close and personal. Naïve. Ignorant.
Cancer is ugly. I hate it. It sucks.
She isn’t the first in her blood-related family to battle the cancer she did.
Genetics, you love them or…you don’t.
You can’t run from them…but you don’t have to feed the bad ones either.
“You take good care of him.” It keeps playing over in my head.
Like all of us, Xander has his birth families genetics. Does it scare me? No, it really doesn’t. But it does make me aware.
I have long struggled with eating healthy, exercise, weight, believing I am beautifully and wonderfully made. Like somehow “that” blessing and truth is for everyone but me…ugh..unbelief…sin.
REPENT. FORGIVEN. FREE.
I have A LOT of food knowledge. I have been studying and reading about it for years. I know what is good for me…I know what isn’t. I know the quality of our food isn’t ideal and that the Standard American Diet (SAD) is less than favorable for my health, for my family’s health. I know every calorie isn’t equal.
I know these things. I have known them for some time.
And I still eat Pringles, lots of them…or whatever.
God said in (Hosea 4:6) “My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge”. We are living in the days where we can no longer turn a blind eye. I can no longer turn a blind eye. I have knowledge as to what is good and what isn’t. I have knowledge of my son’s genetic make-up. I have knowledge that my daughter will have a meltdown if she regularly indulges in foods that are colored with red or blue or yellow food dye. I have knowledge that a white-carb loaded lunch for my son is going to produce a 1st grader that can’t think past the end of his nose.
So now what? Put a ban on ever having birthday cake again….and just stick a candle in a banana for my kids. No, not legalistic…but healthy choices 90% of the time. Yes. That’s my goal.
In late September I started a journey towards health. I was tired or being tired, sick of being overweight, aching when I got out of bed, handling stress poorly, too forgetful for my age… and making poor food and healthy living choices and setting my kids up for the same struggles I have had for so long.
Enter Isagenix. A healthy living lifestyle.
Just 30 days into my healthy living journey I have released 18 pounds and more than 22 inches. More importantly I feel ALIVE, better than I have in years. I have energy and strength, am sleeping soundly and not hitting the snooze button for an hour before getting out of bed! Isagenix is helping detox my body and helping me develop healthy, clean eating habits! This isn’t a quick fix. This is a life changing experience for me and for my family.
This isn’t a meal replacement program. With Isagenix, it’s about cleansing, replenishing and drenching the body with high quality nutrients that strengthen and fortify the body, allowing for the body to become the miracle it was designed to be. It’s not about limiting portions; it’s about eating nutrient dense foods! It is whole body health – undenatured whey, no soy, non GMO, no harmful artificial sweeteners, no corn syrup, and organic…it is the best of the best.
This is about being healthy and vibrant so I can be who God created me to be. So I have the energy to love and serve and enjoy. It is about taking the knowledge The Lord has given me and using it…for me and for my family.
I would be so blessed if you would pray for us as we make these important changes in our daily lives.
Thanks so much for journeying with us. Be blessed.