He happens to look a lot like Noah and Georgi. His hair color and the way it curls on the back of his head. It is reminiscent of Noah’s curls. He toddles around the house like a typical curious boy. He giggles at his siblings and dances on the coffee table.
But it’s his eyes that tell his story.
Xander dons his birth mothers eyes.
We have an open adoption with Xander’s birth family. It wasn’t something we sought out. In fact the idea of an open adoption scared us. Closed or semi-open fit our bill. Our comfort level. Our idea of “safe.”
When we were presented with Xander’s case, from our agency, the idea of an open adoption brought us pause. A pause that was laced in fear.
But God was writing a story, one that would show His mighty hand. One that put us in awe of his attention to detail. One that would show us He is in control.
A story of beauty from ashes.
Looking back I can see where God placed the “seeds of adoption” in my heart back almost 2 decades ago …but I can pin point the day He began drawing some of the finite points of our journey to this day pictured here.
To us, this late August day was a big day. It was Noah’s first day of preschool. He bounced off that bus with pure joy. I waited at the end of the driveway in great anticipation…how was his day? Who did you talk to? Was the bus ride fun? Did you like your teacher?
I hugged him at once. And waved and smiled to the stranger driving the bus.
It is the wheels of the bus in that picture that brings the tears to my eyes. Unbeknownst to all of us, God began a love story that day.
Little did we know one day we would be more than just another stop on the bus route for that driver I flashed a smile and waved to 4 days a week. Little did we know God was giving that driver a specific glimpse into our family and that our chatty 4 year old would sit in the seat behind her and fill her in on the detail of our family.
Little did we know just 5 months after that first day of school we would sit at a restaurant with that bus driver as she considered us as parents for her coming grandson. Little did we know, she already knew who we were and had been given a sort-of “front-seat-view” into our lives. And, little did we know, two months after that we would know her as our son’s grandmother.
Xander was born on March 19th, 2012. We spent three beautiful and hard days in the hospital with his birth family. We talked and cried and laughed. We loved a precious tiny boy.
That’s how our open adoption started.
It was two years this month that God’s hand began to draw more tangible lines in our adoption story. Xander was already on his way, though no one knew.
Our story continues today. It is so beautiful. We wouldn’t change it for the world.
Today we have a wonderful and blessed relationship with that bus driver. We spend time in each other’s homes.
We take her to church each week.
We share stories about our pasts.
We pray with and for her as she fights the battle that is cancer.
We told her about Jesus and we prayed with her when she said “yes” to him.
We love her and her family.
We know she loves us.
This is our open adoption story.
We also have a relationship with our Xander’s birthmother. This is simply the story God is writing between us and his birth grandma.