A year ago today….

A year ago today an unexpected email graced my inbox that would significantly change our families’ lives forever.

Noah and Georgi were asleep, in their separate bedrooms as we had not yet had a reason to make one of their rooms into a nursery. I had postured myself in the brown chair in our living room that I do most evenings after the kids are in bed, Brett was on the couch.

I brought my computer to my lap and went to my inbox. My eyes quickly planted on an email from our adoption agency with the subject line: SITUATION

situation snip

Anyone in the waiting process of an adoption knows the word “situation” causes your heart to race. I began reading the email. I sensed the Spirit tell me to “read this with Brett.” I moved from the chair to couch and we read it together.

We read it again. The Spirit welled up inside us.

Could the babe detailed in this email be our son?

The details surrounding this expectant mother and her family brought us to tears.

The heartache, it was breathtaking.

Just days earlier we had opened our adoption search up nationwide, but this family, this babe, he was in our own town.

Knowing the Lord was telling us to say “yes” to this situation we quickly emailed our agency back affirming our interest in this babe.

The next day was filled with phone calls and waiting and more phone calls. In the weeks to come we would meet this expectant mom and her family. We would sit at a restaurant for hours getting to know these strangers. It was hard. It was awkward. It was painful.

It was very real.

It was good.

Just 8 weeks after sitting on our couch reading that email we would bring home a precious baby boy. We named him Xander.  We marveled at what the Lord had done. He was and is perfect in every way. His blue eyes glisten with the same beauty of his birth mom’s. He climbs over furniture and conquers stairs with an inquisitive spirit and excitement. He belly laughs at dogs catching balls and the crackling of bubble wrap.


I adore him. We all adore him. We are so humbled by the gift of his life…..

But today marks another anniversary, an anniversary of death, of murder. A day the womb, what God created to be the safest place for life to grow, instead became a place of violence and death. An anniversary that put our sweet babe’s life on the line. By all human standards Xander’s life was as inconvenient as it gets – the circumstances surrounding him were met with unbearable pain and heartache. What his birth family faced in carrying him to term was hard and unfair. Statistically, Xander should not have made it out of his birth mother’s womb alive.

40 years ago today Roe vs. Wade passed in our supreme court and a hit was put out on the most innocent of lives in our country.

In the name of choice.

In the name of women’s liberty.

In the name of convenience.

At the hand of selfishness.

The Right to Life was put on the line – liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Not even an option.

But, by the grace of God, Xander was spared. He was given life. He was given breath.  But in the last 40 years since Roe Vs. Wade cleared the courts more that 54 million lives have been lost. We see piles of bodies in pictures from the holocaust – what if we had to see pictures of this mass murder?

I simply cannot put into words the joy Xander brings to our family. It is magnificent and it is equally humbling. He is beauty from ashes. He is made in the image of God. He has a story and destiny.

There are times that I look into his eyes or watch him sleep with his hinny perched in the air or see him snuggle and smile with his siblings that I can’t help but think “what if.”

What if his birth mom had known she was pregnant sooner?

What if her doctor had not been a Christian and an adoptive mom herself?

What if we had not said “yes” to the call to adopt?

The “what if’s” take my breath away.

In an instant Xander’s life could have been snuffed out.  We wouldn’t know his smile, or his smell, or the way the hair on the back of his head is curly but stick straight in the front. We wouldn’t have our first thumb sucker. We wouldn’t know and love the courageous young women and her family who gave birth to such a miracle.

But we do know those things, and we have seen the hand of God through it all. We have experienced the love of Jesus in a new and very real way.  We have seen sacrifice and inconvenience birth blessing and joy. We have seen it build relationships and grow love.

…all because life was given a chance and not taken by choice.

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6 Responses to A year ago today….

  1. What a precious and moving story. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being a voice for the voiceless. Thank you for standing up for the defenseless. They are precious. Xander is such gift, his yumminess makes me teary eyed just thinking of him. I pray your words would be a light…a seed planted.

  2. Mom says:

    Wonderful, Ang! The Spirit is using you. Life will prevail.

  3. Mom says:

    Love u Angie god bless Xander T

  4. Mom says:

    The last remark was from dad.

  5. Sharla says:

    What a wonderful testimony your son is to “life”. I know as an adoptive mom, I am completely humbled and torn down and wracked with the “what ifs” when I look into the precious faces of my kids and consider them not even gracing the Earth were it have been for a different choice made.

  6. Angela Jackson says:

    I am so blessed by Xander’s story, & excited to hear what the Lord has in store for his future. Beautifully written- I pray it touches many lives. May The Lord fill u up as u give to His children & live truth to your adoptive extended family. God Bless.

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